Skeletons in tombs
In 1996, the films, the merchandising, the nationwide hunt for a look-alike must have seemed a long way off for Lara. At that time she was still scrabbling around the large brown vaults of some long forgotten crypt sporting a melon on her tiny neck that resembled a dented bucket with a face crudely painted on it. It’s amazing what ten years can do, not that anyone would be suggesting surgery despite the ever expanding breasts and ever more curvaceous skull. Lara simply blossomed, grew into herself and other such cliches, to the point where she became pretty in an obvious way, as opposed to the way that could only really be appreciated with the use of a protractor and set square. She became an icon, and in her latest escapade she’s looking better than ever, but at what price?
Clearly the party girl lifestyle she’s been enjoying over the past decade has started to take its toll, as this recent shot reveals:
The dark circles under her eyes tell another side of the great adventurer’s story. The lifeless stare; the ever shrinking waist; the increasingly heavy use of make-up, possibly obscuring that now orange-peel skin; the desperate need to grab the public’s attention on every outing; all the warning signs are there.
We here at HWC have never been ones to start malicious rumours, and we’re not about to announce that Lara’s burning out, we’re sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for those all too familiar looking eyes.
Likewise we’re willing to entertain the possibility that her physique is entirely down to exercise, she does a fair amount of swimming, swinging, jumping, shooting and probably hurling (by which we mean throwing, obviously).
We’ll even go so far as to say that we’re happy to believe that she hasn’t walked the path of so many of her UK party scene piers…
…we’re sure it’s nothing but a shadow.
HWC wishes Lara Croft continuing reign as queen of the antiquity thieves, but we’d like to assure her that if does all head south we’ll all enjoy watching her, post cold turkey, on “I’m a celebrity, get me out of here”.