HeadWillCollapse

Your host, Fat Conan, has just been lucky enough to witness some of “Britain’s Sexual Fantasies” on the UK’s premier television channel. For those of you who missed it, it was a deep and wholly “scientific” exploration of the minds of UK perverts as they shared their deepest erotic fantasies with a small bald man.

Inspired by this and in a moment of unparalleled openness, FC thought he’d follow the example of the “actors” (portraying the “real people” from whom the stories were harvested) by sharing one of his own.

FC’s most common fantasy revolves around a man, FC’s an open minded kind of barbarian. The man is tall, huge even; broad, olive-skinned and white haired. He wears a business suit, but his muscles can be seen bulging beneath it, desperate to feel the cool air against them.

In a flash the suit is gone, torn from his frame in a single motion leaving him near naked and glistening in the midday sun. Just a thong protects his modesty and, as he turns to look at Fat Conan, he clenches a fist in front of his face.

“Crush. Kill” he roars.

FC’s eyes widen with anticipation as the man launches his sculpted form effortlessly into the air, before suddenly crashing down upon FC, knees first, with the force of a bronzed tsunami.

With a fluidity and speed of movement that betray his massive size the man gives FC no respite before charging, pounding him over and over, with one hand and then the other.

The fantasy ends with FC collapsing, exhausted by the ordeal. The mysterious giant stands over him and once again clenches his mighty fist.

“Pitiful scum!” he cries

The small bald man would have said that this was a “submission fantasy” and may have been triggered by FC’s attempts to contain his “aggressive tendencies”. FC spends most of his free time playing computer games, eating pies and slaughtering enemy hordes so he’s not convinced. Whatever the reason, he claims that sharing it has been a liberating experience.

Thanks channel five.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 13th, 2006 at 1:22 am and is filed under Gaming, TV. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.