I got a broken face
I’m a bit of an “Alias” fan. I’m currently working my way through the last series, waiting patiently for them to bring out the final boxed set so that I might be allowed sweet, sweet closure. The mention of Jennifer Garner in yesterday’s post got me thinking about the doll of Jennifer (as Syndey Bristow) I have in my room. As creepy as that sounds it’s not what you’re all thinking. The figurine is about six inches tall, was a Christmas present from a friend and is special in that it bears no resemblance to Ms. Garner whatsoever.
There are, as far as I can tell, two schools of thought when it comes the the lovely J.G. The first, and clearly correct, view is that she is a beautiful woman. The second is that she would be a beautiful woman if it wasn’t for the vast expanse of her chin.
It’s fairly obvious that the moulders of this remarkable vision, were of the second school of thought. That’s the only explanation I can give for the face, a nightmarish product of the union betwixt David Coulthard and Clint Howard from Gentle Ben, they decided to slap on it.
It’s got to be hard for ol’ Garner, she’s not been the luckiest person in the “thing that’s supposed to look like you” stakes. The “Alias” game (which was probably rubbish) doesn’t provide the most flattering recreation of her. Pressumably either because the modeller insisted he could “do her from memory” or because he and the plastic figurine makers belong to some crazy Jennifer Garner cult that forbids any creation of her likeness.
Whatever the reason, their ability to entirely omit their subject’s features from their depictions deserves some appreciation, perhaps in the form a short channel 4 documentary presented by Brain Sewell or crappy blog post on HWC.