Hmmmm… nice!
Fat Conan, while sitting at home contemplating the endless possibilities for the hair-restructuring he’s undergoing tomorrow and flicking through an old copy of “Games TM” came across a list of twenty must-have X-Box games, of which he currently owns eight. Besides wondering why he hadn’t refered to the list before going out and buying “Capcom Fighting Jam”, his attention was grabbed by one particular entrant. Alongside Jet Set Radio Future’s listing (which he was glad to see in the list) was a sentence giving a reason for the game’s appearance that read:
“Cel-shading at its very best and a soundtrack to die for”.
They’re absolutely correct, the soundtrack is great, but the mention of it got FC thinking back to the days when the original Jet Set Radio came out, on the Dreamcast, while he was still living with the “comedy whirlwind” in his student digs. That soundtrack was a classic, from the complete insanity of Guitar Vader’s “Magical Girl” to the coolness of Richard Jaques’ “Everybody jump around” and this, possibly FC’s favourite of the tracks: “Sneakman” by Hideki Naganuma. Jet Set Radio was probably Fat Conan’s introduction to the crazy world of Japanese “pop” music.
Shortly after that, and like so many similarly afflicted nerds, FC encountered Evangelion; a woefully depressing and confused animated series with all the cheeriness of a Christmas episode of Eastenders and one of the most irritating lead characters ever devised. The second most remarkable thing about the series, after the giant-robot fights, is the theme music, which does nothing to convey the absolute misery of the content directly following it (something similar could also be said about the end music which features bizarre remixes of “Fly me to the moon”). “Cruel Angel’s Thesis” or something similar (the literal translation almost certainly containing the word apple, monkey or carburettor) is truly one of the greatest opening themes in the history of television.
After the wholly inappropriate Evangelion theme we next encountered the entirely appropriate “H.T.” the opening theme to “Trigun” which, much like the series itself, is not particularly good but manages to be entertaining for a minute and a half.
Next up was “Cowboy Bebop” which has more in common with Jet Set Radio than the previous two animated series in that its soundtrack is also completely awesome. With the exception of “Rain” a five minute track moaning about the weather. The soundtrack is a mixture of blues, funk and country and is littered with catchy tunes. Fat Conan has randomly picked a track from the series to demonstrate what he’s talking about, a little ditty from the second episode entitled “Want it all back“. He’ll see if he can dig out the remix of the theme tune as that’s pretty damned sweet too.
Lastly on this run-down of “things what Fat Conan heard ages ago that he’s been inspired to talk about by a recent magazine article” is an odd-ball of a theme tune from yet another animated series entitled “Serial Experiments: Lain”; a series mainly about power lines and their endless buzzing. The theme tune for this one is an oddity in that it’s a. performed by an British band and b. actually rather good. The version available here is the acoustic version and it’s really very pretty.
Well that’s Fat Conan’s two cents worth for today, now he’ll return to pondering his quiff conundrum. Suggestions for styles on a postcard to the usual address, but please note that any demands for a mullet will be summarily ignored.
September 28th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
Although barely knowing anything about the subject matter, in the best traditions of the Daily Telegraph I felt it necessary to reply.
Your comments about the soundtrack to ‘Cowboy Beepop’ are, of course, entirely incorrect. It is the most fantastic example of purest crud that has ever been produced. Typical Japanese pappage.
Also, regardless of your protestations, it is quite clear that the mullét is the haircut for you. Remember: short at the front, long at the back, and fun all over.
September 28th, 2006 at 10:15 pm
Dear Angered of Wapping,
I thank you for you comments regarding the alleged awesomeness of the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack. While you are entitled to your opinion, it should be made clear that Fat Conan (barbarian to the stars) has a close friendship with the Japanese people (that’s right, all of them) stemming from his great respect for their warrior traditions. When I suggested to him that Japanese music was all pap he responded:
“Happy music make feel good. You shut face now� before gesturing angrily in my direction with a club constructed entirely from human femurs.
So while all comments will be welcomed by me, I cannot guarantee that Fat Conan will take them in the same good humour and for your own safety (and the safety of the nation in which you dwell) I suggest you refrain from such insight in the future.
On a follicular note, I (unlike Fat Conan) do not dismiss your suggestion of a mullet out of hand, but instead believe that I am one trailer and one trucker’s hat short in my qualifications for such a mantle. Maybe next year, if I work really hard at it.
Thank you for your comments and I hope to read more from you in the future, and might I suggest that if Wapping makes you so angry, you try to Wap less frequently.
September 29th, 2006 at 11:09 am
Dear editor,
I thank you for your respectful comments. I humbly submit to your superior knowledge of matters follicular and your dubious hold on matters musicular. I do, however, have one more point to bring up.
I noticed you make reference to a barbarian named Fat Conan. Note ‘barbarian’. If Fat Conan is indeed a barbarian resident in our beloved country, as a Daily Telegraph reader I have no option but to assume that he is either an illegal immigrant or an asylum seeker.
This would only happen under a Labour government.
I have therefore notified the authorities of your ‘relation in symbiosis with an illegal barbarian’, and hope that this situation will be repaired with due haste.
Yours,
Simmering in Wapping.