I’d like to renegotiate my salary
Dear Rockstar North,
You made me drive around in the rain, evading capture by the police, in a car that didn’t handle very well. After that you forced to buy weaponry (in a distinctly shady part of town), asked me to turn traitor on the Mafia family who’d given me a home, demanded I assassinate my mentors and made me listen to “Kids in America” at least twice a day. You then expected me to live with the wrath of the mob, while still being at your beckoned call, and all for a measly £50K.
This new kid turns up, plugs a couple of irresponsible parents and you’re looking to pay out £315 million.
I know that the pay-scale slides with experience and whatnot, and I realise that he may have a few more skills than I do, but can you really justify that difference in pay? I think not. I would therefore request a review of my current salary.
I don’t need to remind you that there are still positions to be filled on Saints Row.
F. Conan