HeadWillCollapse

Fat Conan, along with the rest of the nation, has been exposed to the furore following the PS3 launch “disaster” or “spectacular” depending on whose news agency you buy into. The success/failure of the PS3 in Europe has, of course, already been predetermined by a number of Internet-based gaming experts. So just who will win the new console war? As with all web debates the three categories into which the arguments fall are “fawningly for”, “vitriolically against” and “somewhat superior”. All three categories are equally eloquent in their representation. For example Gary, speaking on behalf of the “vitriolically against” faction comments:

“PS3 ARE RUBBISH ITS NOT ALL ABOUT GOOD GRAPHICS YOU NEED GOOD GAMES AND RIGHT NOW ALL PS3 HAVE EXCLUSIVE GAMES THAT I KNOW OF IS GRAN TURISMO AND TEKKEN MGS4 IS COMING TO THE 360 AND I THINK DEVIL MAY CRY IS TOO”

Which is clearly reason enough for Sony to pull out of the race immediately. Such damning criticism of the new console is of course counterbalanced by the praise it receives in the form of the damnation of its other-brand counterparts as karl of the “fawningly for” points out:

“PS3 will once again dominate the UK videogames market, due to the fact it is far superior to both Xbox and the wii. Yes its expensive but a whole generation have grown up with PS2 and have loyalty to the quality sony brand and any serious gamers will always want the console that provides the best graphics and ultimately the best games and gameplay which the PS3 clearly does! The wii is a fad end interest will soon dry up, as for the Xbox its totally unreliable half as powerful and UGLY!RockonPS3″

He has a point, after all Sony has already dominated the UK market with the PS3, apparently, so it’s reasonable that they might do so again. It’s certainly a compelling argument and FC might even have been convinced if he hadn’t already seen Peter’s forecast of the 2008 sales figures:

“My market share split prediction for March 2008?

Wii – 45%
Xbox 360 – 30%
PS3 – 25% “

Peter, who reminds us all that this is indeed a three horse race and not all about the battle between the 360 and the PS3. Meanwhile, the “somewhat superior” element remains self satisfyingly indignant:

“No, I don’t have a Playstation 3. I do have about four thousand books, though.”

Which may well be a fact, though FC has no interest in pursuing a proof. And so the debate continues, ad infinitum. While the question may not actually be answered until the release of the next next generation of consoles, at least the debate will continue unabated. FC is uncertain what the future of the console market will be, but he has reaffirmed his belief that the Internet is indeed a terrible place.

* Please note that all the comments quoted within this post actually come from a BBC “have your say” section entitled “Have you got your PS3? Did you queue? What is the attraction of the new console? Are you going to keep it or sell it on? Send us your views and experiences”. It’s always good to know which question you’re meant to be answering, isn’t it?

Poet William Blakes-Sephen was born in 1978 in Doncaster. His collected works including poetry, prose and illustrations will form the basis of this module. He is best known for his poem “Tyger” about the dichotomy between the natural and the divine in EA’s “PGA tour 2005″. However, the poem we’ll be discussing today is in a different vein. Written as an ode to the puzzle game, “Meteos” on the Nintendo DS it is simply entitled “Five minutes and two seconds”. (more…)

Fat Conan doesn’t care if its target demographic is three to five year old girls. He doesn’t care that its a facsimile of the real thing that lacks the tangible aspects of genuine pet ownership. He doesn’t care that it doesn’t shed hair all over the furniture and fails to crave marrowbone jelly. He’s completely sanguine despite the fact that he can’t take it to the park and use it meet women. He’s not bothered in the slightest that his macho image is somewhat damaged by owning it (he once cut out a man’s spine using only a potato peeler so he’s still more than comfortable with his own manliness). He doesn’t even give a damn that it’s really just a Tamagotchi with added fur. (more…)

Multiplayer Nintendogs re-enactment “Crufts” will soon be upon us, and while waiting for the men-in-motors buffoonery of BBC two’s “Top Gear” I happily caught the end of the BBC’s heads-up on the event. The show came from the grounds of Lord and Lady Whatever’s 17th century stately mansion and was presented by the same people who normally present programmes concerned chiefly with horses and horse-related activities. It all seemed a bit grand for an event that will predominantly feature dogs sweating in Birmingham.

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