HeadWillCollapse

Well there are rumours abound to suggest it, but I’ve been unable to find any official Capcom press releases to that effect. Being an actual member of the press may have helped on that front; it would have undoubtedly been more constructive than having Fat Conan barking down the phone at a bewildered Japanese receptionist in his own unique brand of broken english.

That said, even Games Radar who appear to be ‘breaking’ the story, aren’t sure:

“Very little solid information about the game has been given; not even the platforms upon which the game will appear. However, this trailer should be more than enough to send the hardcore fighting game fans out there crumbling to their knees in awestruck anticipation.”

And by trailer they mean “possibly-indirectly-related-video-sequence”, although it is as sexy as all hell.

Go. Look upon it and hope.

According to those somewhat sugar-coated army-jobs videos that pop up during advert breaks, the British Army pilots its remote unmanned spy planes using 360 controllers. While I like the idea of ARMYMODUK unlocking achievements and racking up high scores for Queen and country, I can’t say I’m entirely happy with their choice of peripheral.

The original X-Box’s controller was, as everyone remembers, the size of a bear. The Japanese version of it: the “Controller S”, however, was lovely and deserves a spot in the joystick hall of fame (and such a hall of fame should be established to hold it). Following on from that success, Microsoft created the 360 controller. Similar in size and layout to the “Controller S” the 360 controller differs from its last generation counterpart in one important aspect: it has one of the worst directional pads in the entire world.

Now, I’m all for the military keeping its technology up to date, but I don’t feel comfortable with the prospect of life and death decisions being made using a such a device. If it can’t be guaranteed to put descending blocks where you intended in Lumines, how can it be relied upon in a combat situation?

Besides, if we’re prepared to use toys during war then where will the adoption of civilian gaming devices end? I for one do not wish to see Armageddon ushered in by an elderly General and his grandchildren waving Wiimotes around in front of the War Room’s threat-board while the PM authorises nuclear strikes on a DDR mat; I don’t care how many gamer points it’s worth.

One Life Left aired its 50th episode at 9pm tonight and it once again showed why it’s Europe’s number 1, and now an officially award-losing, gaming radio show. Boasting tales of drunken awards parties, condemnation of grumpy presenters and a sackful of self-deprecating humour this episode is one of the best; even its news was relevant. So relevant in fact that it was more aware of the transformation of Princes Street’s HMV branch than I was, despite stopping in there at least twice a week and travelling past it on a daily basis on the way to and from work.

It seems that HMV has decided to run a pioneering scheme here in Edinburgh to allow customers to play games in a brand new communal gaming-zone (well, gaming basement it would appear) for the sum of £5 every 3 hours. As part of this initiative, the lower level of the store has been overhauled to make room for several gaming-pods in X-Box green and white (of course glistening with Microsoft’s requisite level of ’shiny’) and a haul of HD televisions. There are twenty-seven 360s in total (and presumably as many televisions) crammed into the room. It all looks as clean and new as those Sega Worlds did when they first opened; before the management discovered that British ‘youths’ prefer vandalism and casual violence to Outrun cabinets.

It opens on Friday and I give it a month before a. it smells faintly of sick; b. half the controllers have failed due to abuse and c. someone’s been stabbed after winning a Halo 3 deathmatch.

HMV is a large shop at the West End. One Life Left on the other hand can be found Tuesdays at 9pm on Resonance FM.

The following article contains a great deal of wrong and is probably not safe for work. You have been warned.

A party at the cave last Saturday night saw Fat Conan and friends flicking through some retro titles on the old X-Box looking for something to rekindle those memories of yore. It was pretty successful too, with people enjoying games of “Rampart”, “Q*Bert“ and “Missile command”. However, what generated more interest (and more frustration) were some of the titles spotted along the way that intrigued us with their bawdy names and disappointed us with their refusal to work on the box’s MAME port.

On Sunday, freshly hung-over and yellow tongued, Fat Conan and I sat down (or rather I sat and he squatted with haunches quivering in ever-alert battle-readiness) and had a look at getting those titillating games running on the PC (for curiosity’s sake of course). We succeeded and never before have we so wished we’d failed.
(more…)