HeadWillCollapse

The following article contains a great deal of wrong and is probably not safe for work. You have been warned.

A party at the cave last Saturday night saw Fat Conan and friends flicking through some retro titles on the old X-Box looking for something to rekindle those memories of yore. It was pretty successful too, with people enjoying games of “Rampart”, “Q*Bert“ and “Missile command”. However, what generated more interest (and more frustration) were some of the titles spotted along the way that intrigued us with their bawdy names and disappointed us with their refusal to work on the box’s MAME port.

On Sunday, freshly hung-over and yellow tongued, Fat Conan and I sat down (or rather I sat and he squatted with haunches quivering in ever-alert battle-readiness) and had a look at getting those titillating games running on the PC (for curiosity’s sake of course). We succeeded and never before have we so wished we’d failed.
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GAME’s in-store corporate radio today announced that NaturalMotion’s new game engine “Euphoria” would be “using the computing power of the PS3 and the XBox 360 to stimulate the central nervous system” and that Rockstar would be using it in their upcoming GTA titles. Apparently the new games would offer a deeper level of interaction than ever before through this neurological stimulation although, as pointed out by the razor sharp DJ, in a GTA game that would probably hurt.

It’s these sorts of well researched and informed news articles that enrich the whole shopping experience.

Fat Conan has clearly been out of touch for a while as he managed to miss both UK:R and Consolevania’s mention of this little contest. Somewhat amazingly, despite a contest seeking the best “girl” amongst “female” gamers superficially sounding as enticing as one seeking the best foetus deformity amongst IVF mishaps, the gallery manages to be reasonably easy on the eye.

However, that alone is not enough to prevent FC getting very angry over the event; partially because Fat Conan is a new barbarian and as such thinks that such competitions are demeaning and have no place in a modern, post-feminist society; partially because of the presence of cosplayers in the line-up; but mainly because half of them couldn’t possibly be classified as gamers. (more…)

Is it possible to write some code that outputs an exact copy of an image in the form of an enormous HTML table in under twenty lines? Why yes, yes it is.

And just how pointless is such an exercise? Make up your own mind.

Amigo!

Edit: Actually as it turns out, playing with the cellpadding and cellspacing values in that code actually creates some quite cool results, or alternatively go with specifiying the height and width of the cells in ems for a liquid layout that makes firefox cry